Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
