i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
