come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
