I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
