fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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