This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
