WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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