I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I understand Curling. That high.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
