i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
