I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
