The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
