at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
handjob tips. give me some.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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