sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She said her name was "party"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
