If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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