i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
