I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
