so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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