I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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