I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
