god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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