We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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