when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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