Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
