she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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