Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
