You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
