She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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