I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
