im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
