it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
