Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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