am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize