From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize