it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
