Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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