shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
