at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize