I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
