That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
