Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
