Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
