I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Too much gin, very little bucket
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
