You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
