Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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