I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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