Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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