At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
