How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
