she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
