my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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