addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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