so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
