I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
