Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
