just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
