Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
