Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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