You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm at about main and main street
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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