I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
