How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
