'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
