it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize