well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
