yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
