So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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