Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am midnight drunk by noon
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm like, not good at living.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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